the art of acceptance
by fidgefractures
http://www.iyengar-yoga.com/iyengaryoga/
Stepping into the studio I happened upon two of the Yogi. One was dashing out the door though I recognized him at once as one of the main instructors. The other I became to know as Nanda who quickly informed me that he would be teaching a class in half an hour and invited me to join. I accepted and was grateful in that I was ten minutes late for the Hatha class I had intended to take part in yesterday.
After changing in the cloth partitioned cubicle, I sat down upon the cushions that lined the wall and chatted with Nanda about occurrences in my life that had coerced me to embrace the practice of Yoga. I first informed him of a dear friend of mine who had graduated from an ashram in Montreal. I had always adored and envied the joy that the practice had brought her. In her troubles she always had yoga to turn to. The meditative properties and the breathing brought her a sense of serenity I had long forgotten. He knew of the ashram I spoke of and informed me of other ashrams around the world that were connected in their partnerships.
I spoke to him of my injuries and upkeep, so to speak, of my right knee and ankles. Former years of long distance running, a past time I thoroughly enjoyed when I was younger, had taken a toll on my joints thus causing me to endure a period of methotrexate and cortisone injections to both the top of my ankles, a constant draining of the fluid in my knee and an injection to my knee as well. As I went through this period of time my emotional state was in a constant flux of embitterment and frustration. I’ve yet to master the art of accepting that which I can not control when it comes to my body. Having a certain aspect of one’s body fail them is tragic both physically and mentally. Though I am glad it is nothing more serious I still get anxious about the effects on me spiritually.
Nanda was quickly able to provide me with information about the healing effects of yoga and that he was throughly glad I had decided to pursue a new practice in healing myself. I was becoming more and more satisfied with the answers I was receiving and more at peace with my shortfalls. Knowing that I had the option to heal myself and become stronger was a notion I thought out of reach. And yet here it was waiting for me to accept it into my life. I could do away with all the angst and sadness I had let build up in the past few years and focus on meditative properties to calm myself and let go of my ego.
As we were in midst of starting a new reason to why I was lucky to perchance upon his class another student had appeared in the studio. Jennifer had been practicing for quite some time and was in the middle of a course to become a Yogi herself. Slight and around the same size as me she was an added pleasure to the small group of three. I could tell Nanda was very pleased with the size of his class and that we had 90 minutes to work.
We entered the back of the studio and I entered a larger studio with lacquered hardwood flooring. Slate grey walls and an industrial burgundy ceiling encompassed us. Already I felt as if I was both in a cocoon and that I had the whole sky above me. Safety was here I could feel it and a calm had already settled upon our shoulders. There are times when one feels a calling in their life and this was one of those times for me. My eyes had softened and my breathe became measured as I settled upon my mat and turned all of my senses over to the teacher and the practice.
The next ninety minutes we worked together. It was everything I needed, it was a portal to a new extension of self, it was discovery. I had learned more of patience with myself and to focus on breathing. One forgets how to breathe … and yet it is the crux of all life. I’ve become so much more aware of breathing, of spaces, of mind and body connectivity. At the end of the ninety minutes we spent time in solitude with our thoughts and meditation. It was in those minutes that I decided to commit to this.
Commitment is a word that frightens many of us … yet if important enough one does so without any fear. To me the commitments to write, to practice an instrument, to constantly be physically active and mentally aware is life. It’s what keeps one going when certain failures crop up.
I know this life is a gift, as is sight, as is hearing, as is breathing. And I’ve come a long way from my beginnings but I’ve so much more to do so much more to accomplish. I am just so grateful for yesterday. As most of my yesterdays and the people that I’ve known I am grateful.
